rambo iv and rocky vi (actually, this one will be called rocky balboa apparently) are being planned at this time. sylvester stallone is 59 and aside from the contender this past year (which not that many cared to watch), is he even on anyone's radar anymore? i mean, i know we're in the big republican upswing (or, is it the downstroke now?), and it's about time for a good jingoist flick in theaters (not that we don't get one of those just about every month as it is, if not more often), but come on... rocky? rambo? is that really what we need? was the rock too busy working on doom to get a good action film going? where was vin diesel? where was nicholas cage? hell, where was antonio banderas... oh wait, he was making an irrelevant sequel to a movie i'm sure most people have already forgotten (since you, reading this are probably one of those people, i'll say for the record that sequel is the legend of zorro, second to the mask of zorro from 1998)

true enough, a good jingoist action flick or a good boxing movie (i mean, i enjoyed million dollar baby and cinderella man almost as much as the next guy) will be a nice change of pace next to the blatantly bad action films (see, oh, i don't know, stealth) and blatantly bad horror films (see house of wax or the fog or the ring two or... well, there's a whole damn list, growing longer everyday)--

and speaking of bad horror films, i should say i actually enjoyed most of high tension (although that one's french so it hardly fits this discussion) until that innane twist that made the part of the film i actually had enjoyed completely irrelevant and made for a seriously lacking climax... couldn't we have just had the lead actress beat the killer to death and leave it at that, you know, like the climax of the first episode of showtime's masters of horror last night?

and still speaking of bad horror films, in trying to explain how purposefully bad saw ii will be (though i think i've talked myself into seeing it in the theater and not just waiting to get it on my blockbuster movie pass) i think i convinced myself as to a certain brilliance on the part of last year's original, at least in the balls it had to be seriously fucking gory. i'm a fan of that sort of thing, as some might expect. digging through a presumed dead guy's stomach to get a key to release a bomb from your skull--that's my kind of movie. though, to be fair, i should mention that i think saw (the first one) would have been a better film if the flashbacks hadn't been there--coulda tacked them onto the dvd as short film extras or something, or website promotion material. two guys in a room talking about and eventually committing disgustingly gory acts--that works for me as well

anyway

stallone should stick to producing. even if he wants to produce a boxing movie, good for him. boxing movies tend to be pretty good (see the original rocky, dogfight, diggstown or the aforementioned million dollar baby or cinderella man for some good examples... hell, maybe i should check out against the ropes just on principal) so i'm ok with that. but, bringing back rocky balboa, after rocky v pretty much said he's dying of... well, whatever the fuck was wrong with him--i just remember the film putting forth the notion that one more fight would kill him... of course, then he had that one more fight, out in the street with that young upstart punk and he didn't keel over so, maybe the diagnosis was faulty. but, speaking of upstart punks, why not do a movie about that character working his way back from the obscurity of getting the shit kicked out of him by an aging, dying boxer to be the world champion? or, better yet, screw the whole boxing thing, and just get on with rambo iv but instead of the jingoist crap of rambo or rambo iii, actually get back to the themes of the original novel, you know, make john rambo a psychopath who wouldn't sell out to serving his country again if his life depended on it... and, by the way, were his actions in first blood (the film or the novel) anything close to being a vigilante (or would it be more of a, oh, i don't know, insurgent?)? cause that's what a press release is calling him in the plot for the new one--apparently, some girl gets kidnapped, and it's up to rambo to go all vigilante and save her, with rae dawn chong at his side, and leaving dead guys on planes and dropping josh lyman over a cliff and... oh wait, that one was already done, with that politician in the lead roll and that sitcom actress/softcore pornstar wannabe alyssa milano as the kidnapped girl...

what was i saying?

see the first installment of my new, other blog, "boring useless details" today