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found the following on a post-it note in my desk drawer:
enter item number, enter quantity, enter cost per unit, hard return
enter item number, enter quantity, enter cost per unit, hard return...and so on.
some days i wonder if these "items" even exist or if it's all just some ploy to keep we deskslaves drained of anything resembling hope or happiness. sell your sould to the gods of data entry and you won't even have the energy to be depressed about it.
and there's a note to "reference muslims to mecca, deskworkers to breaktime," and it's dated 12-2-5 with an REGB (my initials)
guess i wasn't too keen on my data entry job last december. odd to find this post-it now, when i'm looking for a new job (my current one at puppydogweb coems to an end this week or maybe next, as the business is relocating out of my commute range) and may very well end up in yet another data entry related position. got my resume into a closed caption place, which could be interesting, but who knows? of late, i've been
- thinking on the whole giving up on writing thing, cause who's got the time when it goes nowhere?
- thinking on trying my hand at some crazy, forward things, like contacting frank darabont about a chance to write something, or sending one of my scripts to atom egoyan's agent or kevin bacon's people
the latter sounds like a perfectly feasible idea late at night, but morning comes and i think myself a lunatic (literally, i suppose). and, also last night, i was looking forward to writing a bit of "on the slopes of stanjantuwel," my gardea version novel of my old vikariad online comic--i'm halfway through chapter three, of what looks to be nine (as opposed to the original seven), and it's in now way a regular everyday writing thing--but morning comes and it seems more another waste of time. i've already got to go by the post office today and i've got to try listing some comics on ebay (again) to make a little money, and of course, i've got to find a new job (an activity i'm not eager to do--the finding part, i mean). been up for more than two hours already and i've looked up contact information for darabont (already had contact information for egoyan and bacon in that same drawer where i found that bit about data entry), copied some photos off the digital camera to the hard drive--for a book cover of all things, as if i'm about to put together another self published book (i've got seeing her naked available on cafepress already, but i've only sold a copy to one person, go figure). i like designing covers, i like writing, i love the idea of selling my work to an audience, but i really suck at making that audience grow
speaking of "seeing her naked" though, when i wrote it originally, it built an audience, emailed chapter by chapter to an audience that reached near a hundred, later posted to two different message boards, chapter by chapter again, to an audience the number of which i couldn't be too precise, but all in all, read by (benefit of the doubt to me, here) a couple hundred people. still, it isn't much, but it's a lot more than one. and, i've got newer stuff--my gardea books, a novel called "clubhouse blues," a novel called "beginning," various short stories and some older novels that could probably use rewrites--that, often at night, as i mentioned, i think could use a wider audience, deserve a wider audience. but, who am i to decide that last bit, you know? i've got a weird combination of low self esteem and arrogance that tends too often toward the low self esteem side when it counts and tends too often toward the arrogance when it doesn't, getting me to work on project after project over the years and get hardly a one out to any real audience. of course, i must consider that half the problem is my work isn't really that good, my biggest fans being folks who obviously relate to me personally anyway and have a biased (consciously or not) view of things, and that it isn't all about my inability to get stuff out there, though that is a big problem
and i've gained weight of late, and it's been a horribly hot summer here in california, and now i've got to find a new job, so my future schedule is blurry... which i suppose explains why i like my moxi dvr so much, watching all my tv on whatever schedule i can manage, and why i like knowing what's coming of late, specific times and dates, things to do, the more specific the better i suppose...
except, even that isn't exactly true. some of my best times are when i get to, on the spur of the moment, pop a dvd in and watch a movie or an episode of some old show (currently making my way through space: above and beyond) or when i get to pull out some lego blocks and go to town building whatever occurs to me, or often a movie or tv show while i build with lego blocks, all the while checking that the kids are alive in the next room (cause, you know, that's a must)
and one of the kids is gone right now, a couple weeks into a four week visit with her grandparents on the other side of the country, so the house is different all around, different feel, different tone, not drastically--not like she runs the place or anything--but noticeably. and, i really should be writing about vik (formerly "vike") right now, headed into the balkor (formerly "the woods") with his pere (formerly "father"). so, i suppose i'll cut this entry here
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