i should be working on finally finishing the remodel of my website (that's lemmingdrops.com for anyone new here). i've got one more run of my demo copy of frontpage to finish it all and only a couple changes to make (notably adding two new links to the banner that sits atop each page), but i don't feel like doing that today

i should be working on clubhouse blues, which i've been contemplating restarting (again) with some dueling first person narrators... that is, rather than tell this story in the third person, i want to let jimmy and maureen tell the story, switching between the two of them here and there (most likely when it's most inconvenient for them; i'm guessing these two won't be likely to want to talk about their own private matters as much as they might be willing to reveal each other's)

i should be heading off to do laundry, and i will be doing that soon enough. but, there's much else to be done. i've got ten complete novel manuscripts under my belt, not to mention numerous short stories, a bunch of poems and more than a dozen comics (plus a year and a half or so of a comic strip). but, of all that, all that's been published (properly) is a short story (under the snow, about a 1950s russian woman dealing with the birth of her child, not that that tells you anything at all about what it's actually about), and that only in a startup zine that apparently ended up going nowhere. one poem (a slippery piece of the universe) made it into a pathetic collection from poetry.com (big scam setup, so i don't count that as proper publishing). as for comics, i self published a few but never quite figured out how to promote them or get them to more a few people. there were never any serious print runs, and of what few copies i printed, i've still got leftovers

lately, i've even been gearing up to self publish (through cafepress) one of my shorter novels (seeing her naked) just to see how that goes. my latest novel (the gardia set the empress of time) i've sent to a couple publishers and i need to send it out again, but i've hit that motivation roadblock that's come up so many times before. after a certain level of failure (for lack of a better word) it's hard to put in the effort to do it over and over and over again, nevermind that i barely know enough about some of the pubishing industry to even know what publishers or agents might actually want this novel or any of my earlier ones). hell, when i sent out a short story (the gardia set the escalor) earlier this year, even with the writer's market book, i could only find one good publisher for fantasty fiction from an unknown author, and my story didn't grab their interest. so, then it got put away (though it will be on the remodeled website at least, once i get that put together in the next few days) cause i didn't know where else to send it

my comic strip (liquid thought, which was on my site then on comicsherpa at ucomics.com for a while) wasn't a raging success, so i wasn't motivated to keep it up

my message board never got too popular, so i've mostly given that up as well

this blog, for now, could be going nowhere and i can't even tell, and i've got me some rambly skills, and way too much on my mind, so this might last a while. now, i just got to figure out some good promotion for it...

aye, there's the rub. promotion. i can write. i can draw. i think i even do both fairly well (especially writing). but, while i can create great characters and construct complicated storylines and intricate worlds and i can weave a good plot, i've yet to master whatever it takes to convince others that my stuff is worth their time, let alone worth their publishing effort. and, as i learned in self publishing comics, getting some copies together is far far away from getting folks to buy them. that's part of why i want to make seeing her naked available in print, another chance to figure out self promotion. and, then, maybe there will be more where that came from:

• the man with the holes in his hands
• bridges
• grazers or into the mouth of the river of time
• demonangel catharsis
• charlie
• first covenant
• reverence
• beginning
• the empress of time

and i didn't even get into my completed screenplays. yeah, i've got those, too. i'm one of those prolifically failed writers you hear about all the time, and i'm notably too antisocial to change that status anytime soon. fun fun fun

no watchlist for tonight. it's friday, real time is on hiatus, the stargate shows are on reruns until january and i dropped joan of arcadia before the end of season one. plus, i haven't made it to blockbuster today yet to rent two movies... watched the thing last night and liked it and watched the hunting of the president a couple days ago. odd that i never liked clinton when he was president but i like him a little more now (though his line about liking kerry and bush played on the daily show last night didn't do much for me)

almost done reading stripper lessons by john o'brien. if only i'd get more than a few minutes of reading time in one block. maybe i'll finish it at launderland in a bit. next to read... i'd like to try something by vonnegut maybe, since i've still never read him, or catch-22 or the stones of summer... and, i've still got master and commander from the library, though i'm wary to try reading it. if it's bad, fine, but what if i like it? then, i've got--what?--21 books to read. like i need that