so, here's the thing: some imax theaters in the south (that is, in those scattered few actual cities have found it in them to grow up amidst all that backwoods, hick inbreeding and slavetrading) have taken it upon themselves to show films that included references to actual science

i know, that's crazy. how dare any institution dare to 1) suggest science has any place in the south or 2) reference any word with more than, say, six letters*

and, how could a film about volcanoes (cause that's the case in point that's gotten itself banned of late**) think that southern audiences in for some firey brimstone and death and destruction at the hands of mother nature (or god, rather) would care for anything remotely educational. we wouldn't want to offend anyone's worldview with facts

"many people here believe in creationism, not evolution," says the director of an imax theater in charleston. "we've got to pick a film that's going to sell in our area." and, so, she didn't take the film... which makes me wonder if the passion recut is getting an imax-size viewing this easter weekend

and, that brings up another point (since i will be out of town and can't get a separate blog entry on easter this week): why the fuck are people still bothering with all that easter crap and getting offended by evolution anyway? are they really all that shortsighted and pathetic that they have to believe in some greater power that is going to save them all from their sinning ways, the smoking and the boozing and the casual whoring around? can't we maybe get folks to accept responsibility for their own existence and not wait on christ to show up and save us from the offenses of the world, or for the government to step in and save us from evil husbands intent on seeing us starve to death, evil dictators intent on being unlikable and holding onto nuclear weapons it wouldn't make any sense to use anyway, for papa bush to protect us all from dwindling social security and the horror that is islam?

how about we sit down all the silly people that would be offended by a reference to evolution in a fucking science film and force them to take a biology class, to learn something about genetics and natural selection... and don't let them get all offended with the "i ain't come from no monkey" shit, and teach them what evolution actually is for a change (maybe point out that if basic evolution weren't happening (with the lord almighty behind it or not) all of them redneck bastards would be identical and wouldn't be able to tell one trailer dwelling piece of ass from another... not that they'd care, cause one of em gets pregnant, they could always just say some other redneck did it, cause who could tell differently?

now, if anyone's been offended by anything i've just said, well, go smoke yourself another pack of cigarettes, get yourself drunk and try not to run over that dog in your driveway or those kids of yours playing in the street and convince yourself that this particular liberal elite prick will get what's coming to him... cause, i sure will, won't i, when armageddon passes and judgement day arrives?

* count em, evolution has a shocking nine letters, not to mention more syllables than most southerners could even count, let alone pronounce or understand

** "volcanoes of the deep sea" makes a connection between human dna and microbes inside undersea volcanoes