down with the fcc
Mood:  irritated

and, don't read that title the wrong way. i'm not saying anything against the fcc. i'm saying i'm "down with" the fcc. that's right. i'm right there with the fcc, saying fine fox, fine viacom, get howard stern off the air, and don't hold janet jackson and justin timberlake responsible for what they clearly did, and didn't tell the network they'd be doing. if one person was offended by married by america (and, don't even tell me that you weren't, cause i sure was), then fox should not only be fined but all of those involved in producing the show and making the decision to put it on the air should be taken out and shot. and, we might as well throw in whoever wrote the blurbs for tv guide and whoever edited together the promos and whoever put those intrusive little bottom-of-the-screen promos for the show on the screen during other shows, and whoever produced those shows, and anyone who actually enjoyed the show (which apparently couldn't be that many people, since the ratings were so bad, the show already got rejected by america ("rejected by america"... a new show idea? i think i might call up someone at fox right away)... and, all of those people should be shot as well. and we should cook all their bodies and feed them to the starving children of this country, and hand over their assets to the Right in thanks for protecting us all from this prurient garbage

better yet, let's send all those people to iraq. i mean, we've got a numbers problem in the military, right? and, bush claims he won't institute a draft, so, we gotta get new potentially-dead soldiers somewhere. so, the new rule is: you produce a piece of entertainment that offends a citizen of this country, the fcc will hunt you down and shove you right into army boot camp and you will be shipped off to the frontlines in iraq. the fcc will be the new recruitment office. and, as usual with the fcc, we won't hold them up to any scrutiny, cause making sure their actions are justified will just slow down the recruitment rate and further the moral decay of this once great nation

you simulate sex on the air, you blur naked people, you show a critically acclaimed (but unfortunately realistic) war film, you get a one way ticket to iraq. and, the good news: with the way iraq has been going so far, this system should work for a very long time, certainly long enough for us to get a handle on our airwaves and get control of what sort of generic family sitcoms are left behind once all the offensive content is gone. no more fx shows with sex and violence and immorality. no more hbo shows, glorifying criminals and their evil ways. and, while we're at it, no more liberal media news shows and no more history channel, damn it, cause those documentaries about past wars do nothing if not make our citizens realize how bad things might actually be in iraq

the fcc gets to rise up in the chain of command, in the seats of power. hell, let's get the fcc its own cabinet spot. minister of airwave defense, or something appropriately commanding

watchlist for tonight:

• lost (assuming they refrain from showing anyone with any items of clothing missing, or anyone engaging in violence (not in the name of spreading freedom, anyway) or other immoral activity)
• ghost hunters (assuming the ghosts are clothed and the voice phenomenon are kosher and without profanity)
• south park (assuming it amounts to half an hour of blank screen)
• and i mean to get sarah to watch last night's premiere of house (before the feds come and stop me)
  
  Posted by ca4/muaddib at 9:32 AM PST
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false start
Mood:  not sure
i've started today's entry a few times. there was a line about condoleeza rice and her angry ways being more fitting maybe to secretary of state than national security advisor (not to mention her inability to do anything about national security). there was a line about how republican politics and american destruction of the rest of the world was paying off (for now) and life here is comfortable enough, and probably will remain so for a good amount of time (not that leaving all this shit to our kids is the way to go). there was a line about how i had nothing to say today; afterall, the Right dominates this country and holds more of the more powerful offices in this country, sets policy and doesn't listen to suggestions or allow for change from the Right way. but, what's the point--you know?

why bother speaking when no one's listening, even those who are? speak to the believers, preach to the choir, as they say, and they will just nod their heads--oh yeah, this country's gone to hell and bush and his cronies have got to go, and all that--but won't do a thing to fix anything. try to convince the opposition and you're likely to receive a beating if you aren't careful

dr phil can make a thing of how calling us divided is a bad thing cause we're still all american's but so what? a little too late for this quibble, but so are canadians americans, and mexicans americans, and brazilians americans and cubans americans and haitians americans and hondurans americans and folks from panama and uruguay and chile and argentina and paraguay and columbia and, well, too many countries for me to think of them all right now--they're all americans too. we don't hold a copyright to the name. hell, amerigo vespucci*, if you believe his claims in the first place, didn't even make it to north america. the name applies to the darker skinned folks down south who a lot of us wouldn't even care to acknowledge

we are the "united states of america" nevermind the lack of unity. we are not America

we are the thorn in the side of mother earth. we are the favorite child of mother culture**, the scourge of mother nature, burning away resource after resource, damn the consequences, slaughtering insurgents and innocents alike in the name of spreading democracy, when we can't even handle the real thing, instead hiding behind manipulative and manipulated electoral votes lest the more educated population centers get a grip over the direction of this country... not that that would end well, cause you know those hicks on their farms and in their trailer parks have a lot of weapons... maybe it's time we get some liberal militias going, if that's even possible, just to even up the odds and give ourselves a chance

i'll wait for you to stop laughing

watchlist for today:

• the hunting of the president
• jeopardy
• the rebel billionaire
• amazing race 6
• house
• the daily show

* where we get the name "america" for those of you who know nothing

** read daniel quinn's ishmael for 'mother culture'-the voice that guides so-called modern civilization

something's gotta be wrong
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: kevin and bean on kroq
there's nothing to talk about today

the incredibles was great (great voicework, great writing, spectacular designwork and animation, one of the better action films in quite a while). american dreams was great (as usual, juggling numerous subplots and characters and making them all work--to be fair, when the power started going out, my first impulse was that chris had done something, but alas, the protesting isn't turning to outright revolution just yet). the simpsons was great (not the best episode ever but funny stuff). arrested development was great (and i love how this show keeps ongoing plot threads going, effectively keeping itself from being a true "sit"com). the wire was great (mcnulty's forgetting he pressed on d's death was fantastic, marlo's getting out of the trap was a nice touch, the potential nightmare of amsterdam seems like an inevitable failure and bell's admission in the end was one of the great moments in recent television). huff was better this week than last week (though it could get a little darker to match that opening credit sequence, the tone was more even this time)

and, though i screwed up every step of my lemon meringue pie yesterday evening, each error was fixed and the end result was a damn good pie. and, the waffle iron was a little iffy on the first batch of waffles, but then i got the hang of it and those turned out well

and, we got a new blanket and sheets set for the bed that will be delivered in a couple days, plus a couple new pillows

it was a surprisingly good weekend. so, fuck the world. i don't have time to complain right now =]

i don't even want one politic, let alone several
Mood:  caffeinated
bush is back for four more years, the war(s) go(es) on, same ol same ol. so, let's pretend everything's normal. let's join the mindless crowd, ignore the goings on of a couple thousand miles away in washington and several thousand miles more away in iraq and afghanistan and forget about the rest of the world. there is no big picture if you squint your eyes tight enough

in the early to mid nineties, like a lot of people, i watched the x-files. i'd had an interest in supernatural stuff before that, but suddenly there were tv shows and books all over the place, fuel for dreams that maybe there could actually be something more to this world than what our senses show us. all the religious folks have their god and devil, angels and demons, good and evil, but we atheists gotta take what we can get when it comes to the strange and unexplainable. i've been watching ghost hunters on the sci-fi channel of late and recently checked out the big book of the unexplained from paradox press from the library. and, it occurs to me that it's an interesting bit of timing, my renewed interest (not that it ever went away completely) in things supernatural, right when things natural (if political can be called "natural") turned so dour

realizing the nifty timing of it, i'm tempted to embrace it--i even looked up a local paranormal investigation organization, though they don't seem to have any paying gigs, just a bunch of volunteers--i'm tempted to give up on the world and fins something else to distract me...

except that would be wrong

there IS a big picture. hell, i tend to think i'm better at looking at it than a lot of people i know (not that antisocial little ol me knows a lot of people, of course). and, if we aren't careful, the events of that big picture WILL impact the smaller little pixels we call our individual lives before we have the chance to carve out something good enough to keep us from caring how many people our soldiers are killing in our name, keep us from caring how many of our soldiers are dying in that process, keep us from caring how politicians who actually believe in the idea of armageddon seem to be playing their hands right into it, promoting the end of the world... which wouldn't be so bad, if we could actually guarantee that christ would return and god would give us that wonderful world tomorrow of peace and joy and love and happiness, dwelling under his glorious wings forever and ever, amen

but, don't we all know that isn't gonna happen? i mean, can't even the staunchest christians get it yet? can't they see the folly of believing in the great magician in the sky who will make it all better? hell, even if you think a god will come to your rescue, does that negate your responsibility to do something yourself to fix the wrongness of the world? people dying, people starving, violence and bloodshed, lies and murder, day by day by bloody fucking day... and don't worry, god will fix it. how bout you take some responsibility for the state of things and, god or no god, do something about it. you want a "culture of life" you don't outlaw abortion and leave it at that. hell, you don't even outlaw murder, or outlaw war. you create a whole new cultural outlook that will make people not want to kill, whether it be the enemy or the unborn baby. you change people and their views, not pass new laws or declare new wars

or maybe you accept some parts of the way of things for what they are. people will kill each other sometimes. the best you can do is not add fuel to the fire. people will get pregnant when their lives are not ready for children. it doesn't matter if it's "right" or not, whether you want them to practice abstinence or not. it WILL happen. and, as long as you insist on forcing your will on other nations, even for the supposed "good", they will fight back. afterall, they've got a magic sky captain telling them their way of life is right just as much as you've got one. whose god is more powerful? or, better yet, whose god is more forgettable? whose god can be thrown into the trash heap of history more readily? and, if it's not yours, maybe it should be

watchlist for tonight:

• maybe a few more of the second disk extra from the stone reader
• the thing
• still haven't watched this week's the wire and it's on hbo on demand now, so tonight could be the night

reading: stripper lessons by john o'brien

on writing (and getting lost along the way)
Mood:  chatty
Now Playing: saer's watching dora the explorer a dozen feet away
ashcroft's replacement seems like he might be worse than ashcroft, but i'm not in the mood to talk politics right now...

so, i'll ramble about writing. more specifically, i'll cover what keeps me from writing lately: namely, i've got too many big ideas in my head at once. so, how about a list?

artistry. the confusingly-titled future-set epic about where are society is going and setting up a specific way for it to end, involving violent revolution, alien attacks, religious leaders taking over the world, police impounded the unhomed and the destruction of stars. i've got a bible of terminology and technology for this one that expands regularly. i see the whole thing as a twelve part story, to be written in screenplay format, though i'm not sure if it would be twelve one-hour episodes or twelve two-hour movies. needless to say, i haven't put too much effort into writing the actual content of this one beyond my bible and and outline cause it would take the publication of one or more of the rest of my stuff before i had the clout to even suggest this effects-laden thing get optioned, let alone produced

wannabeheroes. there's an outline 48 issues long for this comic and scripts for seventeen of them. but, as far as the artwork goes, i completed two different versions of issue one, with my simplistic art style fitting nicely enough with the dense text and dialogue, and i've drawn some of issue two. but, ultimately, i can't draw this thing fast enough to make it work. if i could guarantee a page a day, i could get the schedule i want. interestingly, if i had kept that schedule from when i originally got to drawing it, i'd be three fourths of the way done now. and, the idea and outline are even older than those early pages. i've toyed with rewriting the thing from the beginning as a half hour format tv series, but i don't have the clout or the fame or anything to get it made, so there doesn't seem much point. this story--four teens setting out to be superheroes in the real world, with densely worded bits about social issues and politics and revolution and life--is stuck in my head though, which makes sense since it covers just about all my usual themes

clubhouse blues. a short novel (i'm figuring on somewhere about two hundred pages when it's done) that is at a pivotal half way point. just last week, i did a read through and edit and got back into it just in time to be rather sick this past weekend, so now i have to get into it again, presumably next week. there's an important scene coming that should make or break the story as something shallow or relatively important and good. the story, by the way, follows four teens (focusing primarily on just two of them) in the last days of summer after the discovery of an abandoned clubhouse in the woods. there is no clear plot, just a series of events that are headed to a very specific climax. the story was suggested by the title, which i came up with for my screenplay, paper song (about a hostage situation in a radio studio, though really about pedophilia, molestation, rape and sex, with a hell of a lot of dialogue), the title of which was suggested by a title i came up with in passing in one of my completed novels a few years back, grazers (or into the mouth of the river of time)

gardia stories. three completed so far, the short stories, the escalor and master caker and the novel the empress of time. set in the fantasy world of gardia which connects here and there with our world. i've got a map, a bible of terminology plus an ever expanding ancient language (including an ancient alphabet) for background material, and lately i've been amassing a lot of new entries for the bible on this one to ready for the second novel, lion, horse, tree, a two-branched plot starting with the abduction of the infant princess flea. i think i'm ready for this one but i want to finish clubhouse blues first. i've got too many unfinished works and false starts in recent years

and, there's my mortician screenplay, for which i've done a lot of reading and research, but i wasn't ready to write when my schedule opened up for it. there's my demonangel cycle of stories, which connect all of my novels and screenplays tangentially if not overtly (numerous unpublished novels and short stories and unproduced screenplays completed so far, too many to list here, though it might be an interesting exercise to put all my titles together to get an idea of how i name these things). there's my vikariad (an online comic, a good chunk of which has been finished and can be read on my website at lemmingdrops.com) about the last ditch efforts by some vikings to fight off christianity. and, there's many many more. if i took the time to talk about them all, i'd probably never get around to writing about them all. of course, that brings me to my point. if i spend too much time planning for them all, i tend to avoid, inadvertantly most of the time but purposely sometimes too, actually writing them. it's easy to skip right past doing what i want to do because life these days supplies way too much to do, way too much busy work and surface entertainment, and the political climate of our nation is a little distracting as well. life gets in the way of life sometimes. not that i'm complaining about my life. there just aren't enough hours in the day to live all of the life you want sometimes, you know. and, it's easy to get bogged down in the details, running errands and keeping up with pop culture, fighting a losing battle with the publishing industry, looking after and enjoying a family, fantasizing about changing the world and anything else that comes along

and i didn't even mention my recent attempts at doing a regular comic strip or my hobby of building rather complicated things with lego blocks or my recent interest in cooking or my love for movies or books or comics

anyway, no watchlist for tonight. gotta go to blockbuster in a bit to exchange the two dvds i've had now since saturday (arrested development disk three and last house on the left). i think i'll try to squeeze in the latest episode of the wire and the latest episodes of the simpsons and arrested development, and there will be jeopardy and the daily show and whatever i get at blockbuster. as for now, well, it's laundry day, so i'm off to launderland soon

maybe we'll talk politics tomorrow

a long, long week so far
Mood:  happy
sick all weekend, in the hospital for a few hours monday, cleaned house and went to a dermatologist yesterday, not to mention dinner at my parents' house sunday, and it's only wednesday

at least it didn't come to suicide like with that guy at "ground zero"...

and speaking of "ground zero" i know in pearl harbor they've got that arizona monument and they left that particular ship underwater where it went down, but as far as i know, they salvaged everything else and cleaned up the place. see, pearl harbor has room for a ship to just sit there and be a big reminder of the attack. does manhattan have the space to spare for two big holes? seriously, isn't manhattan too crowded to bother?

anyway, i'd intended on doing a tv centric entry for monday, but couldn't get to it, obviously. what turned out to be "atypical chest pain" most likely resulting from a fucking hurt rib from our broken a sofa bed (good news, one part of busy yesterdat involved getting a new bed, to be delivered next week) kept me in the hospital for a four hours. got blood and urine sampled, got an ekg, a chest x-ray, the usual pulse and blood pressure measurements, nearly got a ct scan (cause the guy with the wheelchair asked for robert and the other patient in my room was named robert and happened to be out getting another test right then), and was pronounced healthy and sent off with a prescription for pain medication (good stuff that did its job already)

and then i had an appointment made weeks ago for yesterday, only to find out i'm old, apparently, and the thing on my hand was nothing bad

and, from being sick over the weekend, my weight got below 200 pounds for the first time in a few years, with over five pounds lost since last week

i'm healthy. who knew?

but, then there's television. and it isn't healthy. i used to watch almost every network drama and quite a few sitcoms, every week. in recent years, due to me getting a little more of a life and tv getting a little less, well, good, my viewing has diminished a hell of a lot. for this weeks, there's eleven shows on my list (yes, an actual list for the week, with episode titles and everything): the wire, huff, american dreams, the simpsons, arrested development, boston legal, veronica mars, lost, ghost hunters, south park, and good eats. not listed, but still watched: the daily show. also, last night i watched the rebel billionaire, which turned out to be pretty good for a fox reality show. i've got nothing on saturdy, monday, thursday or, now that real time is done with its season, friday

six scripted dramas, three scripted comedies, one hour long reality show, one half hour cooking (doesn't qualify as a reality show, in my book) show. eight and a half hours of tv. add in a couple hours of a the rebel billionaire plus two hours of the daily show and two and a half hours of jeopardy and i get to fifteen, which would be the equivilent of watching three hours of primetime tv each weeknight, nothing close to what i used to watch

i have actually been watching networks, for a change. the last couple years, i've barely touched the networks, and i'm still not touching cbs (i considered watching the new amazing race, but turns out it's going on tuesdays at 9, where i've already got veronica mars and next week get house, so i can't do it (not enough vcrs currently to deal with that)). the networks, like other forms of popular media are getting too mediocre, too shallow...

too episodic as well. except for some obvious exceptions--the simpsons being one--i go for ongoing shows with story arcs and ongoing plots, even if they put the focus on one main thing per episode (a al veronica mars). while csi is a seriously well made show, i just can't watch it for the same reason that most people can watch it anytime, whether they've watched it recently or not. i like having to know the characters, having to understand the background, getting involved rather than just sitting back and watching passively. i want to be pulled in, grabbed and yanked inside the show (on at least some level). i want something like the latest episode of american dreams, where less than twenty minutes in i was thinking i wanted the episode to go on and on (then i looked at the clock and was shocked to see it was only twenty minutes in and they'd just packed so much in i thought it must be nearly over). i want great writing, complex (read: realistic, not necessarily convoluted) characters, and good, sturdy plots

veronica mars has thrown in a few predictable bits (casting gave away the woman as sex changed mother and the stepdad rapist (though the latter hardly seemed that important by the time it finally got revealed in the episode, which was nice) but gives us a whole group of nicely rounded characters who, even when doing cliched things, make them work cause we can see why they're doing it

boston legal has thrown in a few too many quirks, and needs maybe a few more "straight men", but the central characters (notably alan and denny) are good enough to anchor the whole

lost has a great ensemble and even when heavyhanded (the moth bit, which could be read as the writers being heavyhanded, locke being heavyhanded, or the island itself being heavyhanded, which might change the verdict on that heavyhandedness) or less than revelatory (the ending of sun's recent episode, as compared to, say, the end of locke's), still holds up because the whole is sturdy, built on well rounded characters and an enthralling mystery

and, i'll end with a new show: huff (or, !huff). it's parts were good, but i got the feeling that there were whole scenes missing. i don't think whole scenes were actually missing, but the transition from being right there inside huff's head with him and stepping out was a little odd. i think the writers need to keep us in huff's head or keep us out, make us live through everything with him or make us just be witnesses from the outside, not both

as for me, lately i've got some new ideas for my fictional world of gardia, i've been getting back into clubhouse blues so i can finish writing that, and i've still got my mortuary centered screenplay to get to at some point... maybe i'll do an entire entry here about my writing stuff. that could be fun. until then, i'm off

and, i made almost no mention of politics. i'm so proud

p.s. in cooking related news, we got a waffle iron and a crock pot yesterday and i'm looking forward to putting them to use. and today i'll be making some torilla chips (tortillas cut up and fried in canola oil, salted with kosher salt) for dinner at my sister's house p.p.s. tv watchlist for tonight:

• jeopardy
• lost
• ghost hunters
• south park
• good eats
• the daily show

no words today
Mood:  down

i just threw up four times in a row. no politics today

let the denial overflow
Mood:  down
Now Playing: dora the explorer in the background

it is now that we pretend that all the uncounted votes, by some fluke that denies the usefulness of sampling, will be for kerry, and despite his concession, he will win the office of the presidency

and, while we're at it, we must also pretend that upon actually taking office, he will reveal his greatest flip flop yet, pull all troops out of iraq, grant gays the right to marry, teens the right to abort, stem cells the right to be researched and whatever else might actually make him more than just a small degree different than his one and only opponent. they would have us believe that kerry and edwards were two of the most liberal senators around, like their liberalness was so horribly left that this country would have burned to the ground from the nightmare of their having been elected into executive positions. but, they weren't liberal enough. they weren't human enough (not that liberal and human are synonyms, of course). even cnn yesterday commented on how kerry seemed more like a real person in his concession speech than at any time in his campaign. i know, the democrats wanted a relatively middle-of-the-road candidate to have a chance, but if we still get a 50-50 (approximately) split, what's the point in conceding party principles? why not embrace the liberal ideals, get kerry out of the way and grab someone more liberal, like howard dean or... well, i'm sure there are plenty even more liberal than dean, far more liberal than kerry. if this nation is split, let's take advantage of it, and not try to win over the other side but actually enthuse our own side

and, rather than ignore the "third" parties, why not embrace them, use them to further our causes, even if they still can't feasibly win. maher and moore had the right idea in begging nader to get out of the race and support kerry. and, though i like the libertarian stance on a lot of things, they weren't even mentioned on news coverage, so, as far as american society goes (tv centric and all) they might as well not even exist, so why not morph into lobby organizations and back a major candidate?

insert a big sigh here

let's recount all the votes, let's reconsider all the voting systems, let's blame diebold and hanging chads and voter "challengers" and disenfranchising of minority (and criminal) voters, and let's pretend we didn't lose fairly. hell, we have no evidence that we didn't lose fairly. so, absent any evidence to the contrary, our assumptions must be correct. right? that's how the religious folk accept god, isn't it? we can't prove he doesn't exist so he must exist, cause how else can we have any purpose to our lives without god's plan to guide us? and, now, how else can this country move forward if we don't have emperor bush shoving us from behind?

watchlist for tonight:

• jeopardy. ken will, if the rumor is true, be losing sometime in the next couple weeks, maybe right before the upcoming college competition. but, still, though i've passed the test twice, they won't call me, the bastards
• somebody help me. having dropped survivor this season, i've actually considered giving the oc another try
• life as we know it... cause i'm a glutton for punishment. the narration bits are mostly redundant and unnecessary, the girls are still annoyingly given scenes on their own yet don't get narration bits, but there's still something oddly watchable here
• touching the void
  
  Posted by ca4/muaddib at 9:41 AM PST
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Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: air america radio - al franken show (dora the explorer in the background)

looks like walden o'dell will get his wish, with his diebold machines delivering the ohio votes to the president. won't matter much how close things might actually end up. apparently, kerry is already conceding (set to speak in less than an hour, as i write this)

of course, it's a little disturbing how split the country is as far as the popular vote goes. i'd prefer someone to win by a greater margin (maybe, at least, with some of that automatic run off voting stuff, ranking the candidates and whatnot)

and, eleven states banned gay marriage, florida screwed with abortion rights...

and, i really don't feel like getting into it, going over the results of the election. i could get into the lack of any significant update to the electoral college since 1911. i could get into... screw it. what i need to get into is costs for moving to canada or france or--i don't know--anywhere-but-here

anyone-but-bush didn't win, so anywhere-but-here might get a big boost now. or, maybe we can all get involved with those folks who throw out that proposal to get california to secede from the united states and support them a whole lot. at least we get some stem cell research, which might help some of us live longer, which means larger population and, maybe, just maybe, we can get the electoral college to reflect that population change...

but, let's talk about veronica mars. some great moments in last night's episode. the revelation about the shoes was a great ending, veronica finding the safe combination changed was great, and sure enough, we've got reason to actually feel for logan--i mean, verbal abuse is one thing, but lashing with a belt? this is my kind of television. a big part of the backstory hinges on drug induced rape, and now we've got serious parental abuse that probably won't be stopped anytime soon, plus kyle secor who would make my top ten guy list if i were to make one, not to mention kirsten bell, veronica herself, is a great visual, and a strong lead actress for this show

and after watching my tape of the last hour and a half of bravo's 100 scariest movie moments, i was actually a little jumpy, though that might have had to do with the earlier election results

now, let's cut today's entry short. thing is, when do the protests start? or did everyone get over that when it turned out bush was never going to change a thing because of them? when does the civil war begin?

watchlist for tonight:

• lost
• ghost hunters
• south park
• the daily show
  
  Posted by ca4/muaddib at 9:19 AM PST
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ammendment - my apologies to the swedes
Mood:  cool
Now Playing: arrested development - shock and awe
how amerocentric am i? i took one look at the word "sweden" and thought "swiss" instead of "swedish." i'm so busy praising allah and thanking jesus for making this country the greatest place in the universe, i can't even keep my european countries straight (not that, with the european union, it matters much anymoe anyway--am i right?)

so, my apologies to the swedes. bin laden was right. you haven't done anything untoward. you give us meatballs and blonde girls; how can that be bad?

we all know it's the swiss who are ruining the world