Mood:  cool

all over the place today

last night's lost was great. asshole from "in the bedroom" who showed up briefly last episode turned out to be someone bad. locke made some creepy looks and seems a little too reverent toward the island, not to mention his great black and white eyes in claire's dream. and, i'm siding with those who think charlie's genuinely interested in and protective of claire and not those that think that just cause he's gotten firendly with island guru locke that he'll turn out to be a creepy island lover. and, we're three weeks into what the producers said would cover 40 days (the first season, that is), and now we're getting a real plot going. great setup so far. this show is still going strong

house is also going strong, after three episodes so far (how many more before fox cancels it?). i don't even have a problem with the basic format of incorrect diagnosis after incorrect diagnosis until finally the correct one rears its head. the characters make it work, and all the details are fascinating. plus, the latest was a little different, as they were correct in what they later assume was an incorrect diagnosis, only to prove themselves wrong in thinking they were wrong. and, house's interactions with clinic patients are great

ghost hunters is not a brilliant hoax. it can't be. it's some serious investigators followed by a relatively unbiased film crew played for realism and aiming at disproving hauntings. if they could just get rid of those damn edited in flashes of faces and stuff that show up early in every episode...

today is saer's second birthday. there will be cake and dora the explorer hats and plates and napkins and whatnot later--speaking of which, i forgot to wrap a couple presents in dora paper last night, so how do i manage that today without getting saer all excited (then upset) about those gifts until opening time?--and i gotta pick up that cake today at porto's, plus i still gotta go to ralphs (for the second time today), the automotive store a few blocks from here, the post office and blockbuster, plus pick up hayley early from school, sarah early from work, and take saer for her two year tune-up before the comic book store and my parents' house for the "party"

and, i had intended to get the smog retest this morning, but that got postponed for tomorrow, except tomorrow the gas company's coming over to check our heater that doesn't work

but, at least there's no tv on tonight, so i can finally get around to watching veronica mars from two nights ago and whatever i rent at blockbuster today: maybe ararat and spiderman 2, maybe whatever jumps out and says "rent me." i've been enjoying documentaries lately, though i might be informationed out on the iraq/bush thing... like that's possible, and there aren't many other subjects of which blockbuster is getting the documentaries

watched the saddest music in the world yesterday and was sure i didn't like it, though it was very watchable (i loved the look of it, made to look like a movie filmed when it was set, in the 30s) and somewhat entertaining. but, then i was describing it to sarah, explaining how the younger brother lost his son (but keeps his heart in a jar, preserved by his tears) and his wife left him only to turn out to be the girlfriend (maybe) of the older brother, who's also got a thing going with the beer lady with no legs, who lost her legs when in a car accident because the father was drunk and cut off the wrong one while trying to save her from the wreckage, and did i mention he was drinking cause he actually liked her though she had a thing for his oldest son, and all three of them, the father and the two sons are entering the competition to see what country has the saddest music in the world, as run by the no-legged lady (though she does get some glass legs filled with beer late in the film, though those shatter quite nicely, and she uses some of that broken glass to stab the older brother) and... well, i think i like it a whole lot more now that i look back and see how fucked up it really was, a comedy about sad people with convoluted, silly relationships

and i've been reading tom strong book 2 which i got from the library (i was looking to get a copy of catch-22 or fight club or contact but none of those three was there, so i got the second tom strong book and the second cartoon history of the universe book) and it's fun and all, and well written and put together, but there's something a little off about the structure with all the short stories that makes it pale in comparison to moore's other work, promethea or from hell or watchmen being some obvious examples). that being said, even moore's not so great work is better than a lot of other comic writers' best

and, i liked slaughterhouse five a lot, though i think i expected more of the ending. i think i was hoping there would be a big revelation about how none of it was real and billy pilgrim was just reimagining his life in a more palatable fashion so as to live with it (which was implied time and again, but never explicitly stated). but, it stuck mostly with leaving it to the reader, which should be a good thing... i just didn't expect it

and, i could go on forever like this, touch on the last two episode of the daily show (with great guests brian williams and chris hutchins) or last night's jeopardy (in which jennings defeating emperor zerg lost to what appeared to be a twelve year old), but as i mentioned, it's a busy day today. and i should be getting on with it

Mood:  incredulous

first, two men were arrested in idaho for dumping dirt in the forest. apparently, it's illegal to dump anything in a national forest, including dirt. and, these guys even raked the dirt out so it looked nice. still, they were arrested. go figure

second, who said they could change strawberry shortcake's hair? seriously, if you want to be nostalgic about old toys or just rip them off because you can't be creative enough to come up with new ones, have the decency not to fuck with them. don't make the transformers look like multicolored pieces of crap (with overcomplicated transformations, mind you, if one kieran acquired recently is any example). if anything, make them look more like real vehicles, with real coloring. improve them for the better, like that isn't the damn definition of the word. and, don't try to make strawberry shortcake look like someone new. if you wnat strawberry shortcake, have strawberry shortcake. if you want someone new, make someone god damned new. don't recycle old ideas because you don't have nay news ones. recycle old ideas because they are that damn good and deserve to be revisited. if you really want to change them, make them better, make them more interesting under the surface. don't just shallowly cut some hair or recolor some outfits or panels. you want a better strawberry shortcake or a better transformer, make them talk, make them transform themselves (the transformers, that is--though a transforming strawberry shortcake does sound fun. anyone have her manufacturer's phone number?), make them more like "real" versions of what they are supposed to be. then, soon, we'll have walking, talking teddy bears like in AI...

speaking of AI, was it that he was such a cynic that made the bear just about the most human character in the entire film? or was it a commentary on humanity's attempts to recreate itself that in joe and the bear we get more "human" characteristics than in david, who is intended to be more "human"?

and, i want one of those bears. he was cool. pessimistic and cynical, just how i like my bears. none of that happy-go-lucky picnic basket stealing crap or teddy ruxpin stroytelling-with-a-happy-ending-and-a-song crap. we need more negative children's characters. maybe not like that tarabisho chick, but let's get oscar the grouch his own yearly doll and get rid of that elmo kid--and shouldn't elmo be going through puberty by now? that could make for some nice mood swings and a whole new series of dolls. nocturnal-emmission-elmo, erection-in-class-elmo, acne-scar-elmo, and all that

and cable's screwed up today, keeps cutting out (kinda like my brain, if you have been able to keep up enough to notice). it better be fixed in time for tv tonight... speaking of which...

watchlist:

• jeopardy - first post ken episode. hope emperor zerg with her vietnam era hairdo plays as badly as she did yesterday and is gone quickly, not that i'm still bitter in anyway in relation to jeopardy, not like i passed their test twice now and they'd let retarded folks on before me (not that i'm saying zerg is retarded; the two things were separate)
• lost - babies and psychics and monsters, oh my
• ghost hunters - a couple haunted houses. hope something (anything) happens
• south park or good eats if i'm in the mood
• the daily show

Mood:  spacey

so, miss spider just played the spiders-need-to-eat-their-webs-so-as-not-to-make-a-horrible-mess bit and i was doing my best to ignore it, but damn it if i heard that crap about how the web stuff had to be eaten to clean up. and, before i get on with my point, it was very clear in context of the show's structure that it was a silly take on recycling, not something actually useful. that being said, apparently spiders will sometimes eat pieces of their web (broken bits and whatnot) to conserve silk

but, damn it, it's still not good to let all the dogs out of the pound at once (a la dora the explorer) and fish should be allowed to eat one another (again, a dora reference)...

and, these shows need more episodes so they don't repeat all the same ones so often. hell, i swear this miss spider show only has like four half hour episodes so far (amounting to eight half-episode stories). maybe new shows should be regulated to once a week instead of the five days a week schedule

yeah, i'm talking about cartoon schedules on nickelodeon, but remember i've got three kids, two of them here right now watching their morning cartoons (usually dora, blue's clues then miss spider or another dora (if i manage to get the channel changed to noggin before miss spider comes on (kieran and saer refuse to acknowledge the crappiness of miss spider))

anyway, nothing much to say today about worthwhile things. politics are quiet, as the election is over and no one cares anymore. protests won't do anything to get us out of iraq at this point and no one can think of any good way to get bush out of office now that he got reelected (and kerry conceded). and no one is willing to contemplate violent rebellion cause they'll be struck down before they've even amassed a good stockpile of weapons (a la ruby ridge or waco (yeah, i reference such obvious examples. so sue me)). i wish i could find the original source of a line someone referenced in the weather underground documentary (and which i'd heard reference before): if you make peaceful revolution illegal then you guarantee a violent one. of course, the Left isn't full of as many reactionaries as the Right; i mean, of course, not so many that would resort to violence. the Left would rather sit around and hope for a better chance next election. the Left is fine with sitting around watching reality shows multiplying like rabbits and simple kids cartoons grabbing onto politically correct crap (that the Left helped engineer, of course, though it's certainly gotten a little out of control) and wait for next time, even as the Right gains more and more power and has put itself into a position to rule the world. if history is any teacher (and, it would be nice if more of us thought it still was), then we can be assured this Empire will fall like all those have come before. thing is, won't things get worse before they get better? a popular vote (exaggerated or not by electoral fraud) just got the big bad bush reelected. foreign countries were supposed to be okay with america still because it seemed we didn't all support this guy and his imperialist ways. but, now more than half of us want him in power, apparently, and the other half are too lazy to do anything about it. so, didn't it just become opne season on america? if any terrorists (cause, we're supposed to believe they're hiding all over the place, aren't we?) were harboring any doubts about whether or not we were all explendable, didn't we just erase those doubts?

our administration will lie or blur the facts to support any part of their cause they like. and, we let them get away with it, because there's a little bit of truth in each lie (a little like i'll forgive that web-eating on miss spider now that i know it can happen in real life (how's that for coming back to my opening?))

how much more will we be willing to accept before we either do something or really all run off to canada or whereever? if we've got four more years in the direction we've been going for the last four, what will it take to recover?

---

watchlist for today:

• jeopardy - tonight's the night, supposedly, ken will lose finally
• the rebel billionaire - seriously endangering contestants has been fun so far. i'll keep watching
• amazing race 6 - more fighting, more bad map reading and stupid decisions
• house - loving this show so far, though to be fair i'm not sure if i'll actually get to watch it tonight. will be recording it when it's on and watching it later
• veronica mars - loved how they didn't let the notion that veronica's dad isn't her dad linger and just had someone say it outright after only an episode since the initial clue. like house, though, i'll be taping this and watching later. i can tape two things and watch a third, and amazing race isn't worth keeping, so that's my "third"
• the daily show - back from vacation again and funny as always
• and i've got the saddest music in the world here to watch sometime too

news of palestinian puppet tarabisho's call for violence swept the world recently. and, after american puppet w had already managed to start a couple wars across the globe, it was only a matter of time before more puppets started getting riled up

the violence hit the streets of sesame this past weekend as forces led by elmo set out to rid the world of the "so-called muppets, who aren't even good enough to have their own show. and don't even get me started on their films"

dozens are dead or missing and presumed dead

elmo made his first play for power last week, when he interuppted a plea by bleeding heart prairie dawn for peace and love. "we will not stand for this peace and love bullshit anymore," elmo said. "it's time puppets wake up and smell the world as it is. first we get the muppets out of our way, then on to the humans. no more will we be operated by sticks and hands stuck into our backsides. now is the time when we stand on our own and show the world what being from the street is all about"

a systematic "cleansing" followed, with morally bankrupt puppets first on the trashheap. first went bert (who, despite rumors to the contrary, was not an evil mastermind but just an evil homosexual) and ernie, lifelong companions who had recently demanded the right to marry. next went kami, a south african import with hiv, "who had to have gotten that from a queer," according to elmo's trusted advisor (and rumored true leader of the "resistance") oscar the grouch. sitting in his trashcan, stroking his pet slimey, oscar further called for the destruction of big bird before ordering the march on the "muppets"

it wasn't long before the first net broadcast, the easily recognizable green limbs of kermit the frog beneath a canvas hood, on the floor in the background, gonzo and fozzie bear, also wearing hoods. and, elmo and zoe stood behind kermit. "let this be your first lesson," elmo announced before tearing the marionette sticks from the backs of kermit's elbows. then, soaked in the frog's blood, and ignoring the cries of pain as best he could, elmo proceeded to saw away the beloved frog's head

on larry king, miss piggy demanded a response, a show of force that would put "these street folk" in their place

but, sam the eagle (turning against his muppet brethren) entered the studio with a group of singing cows and the cookie monster and the porcine beauty was taken into custody as an "enemy of the street"

american puppet w put a call through to elmo, congratulating him on his success thus far, but wondered about the manhattan (taken, as many will remember, in 1984) enclave of muppets and what could be done about these insurgents

elmo went to his trusted advisor, oscar and demanded a plan that would rid the world of the infidel muppets. and, thus came operation chocolate chip: millions of chocolate chip cookies would be delivered to manhattan, through, among other means, the 83 mcdonald's restaraunts there. then, after the manhattanites and the muppets had gorged themselves on super-sized meals and chocolate cookies, the cookie monster (starved for four days prior to the operation) was sent in. the stench of chocolate chip cookies was everywhere, and the cookie monster began to eat in no time, and he ate and he ate and he ate

and, then, in the last toy store on manhattan, the last of the muppets, led by beaker and bunsen honeydew, fashioned a dirty bomb and destroyed themselves, taking the now gargantuan cookie monster with them

waldorf and statler were heard to say "good show, but we've still got hands up our asses"

"if only puppet w could reveal his true puppet nature to the world and get the national guard on our side," elmo lamented. oscar handed elmo a cynaide capsule then laughed and stroked his pet worm some more. "you're young, elmo. you couldn't have been expected to win against such powerful opponents, but you made your mark." elmo took his capsule and died. "yes, you made your mark," oscar repeated. then, he took out his cell phone and made a call

"tarabisho, it's oscar. the street is clear whenever you've finally given up on the west bank"

note: obviously, the names above don't really have anything to do with any actual muppets or denizens of sesame street, and no puppets were harmed in the production of this essay

Mood:  lazy

despite dora the explorer, it's not a good thing to let all the dogs out of the pound. despite miss spider, spiders don't need to eat their webs so as not to leave behind a mess. despite dora (again) fish may actually eat one another and you don't have to tell them to open their mouths if they go ahead and do so...

but, back to that pound thing, and on to ethiopia, cause you know, if dora did a very special ethiopia episode, they'd find some magic cure to hunger or teach all the ehtiopians to farm or put out a nice advertisement to those just-a-penny-a-week-and-this-child-will-eat campaigns, or something similarly politically-correct and ultimately ridiculous

dogs are put in the pound to improve the lives of people and other dogs. too many stray dogs around and they will all have limited food, not to mention making a hell of a lot of trouble for us humans. and, for that matter, hunting is a good thing, cause it keeps populations down, makes it so the deer (for example) left behind have enough food

on the other hand, sending food to starving kids doesn't really help. sure, it helps that kid that week, but it also just keeps that kid alive to need food next week. starving nations don't need more food. they need less people. if you add food, the population will increase and you will have more starving kids, not less. you want to save the starving kids, kill a few of them, or let a few starve to death already. leave the situation alone for a while, maybe. of course, you'll have to not watch what happens for a bit, lest you be tempted to run back in with bundles of food in hand

yes, let them die. let their numbers decrease

it is not your problem to fix them or save them all (anymore than it's your job to fight off their totalitarian leaders, either). we've got our own starvation problems here. we've got our own poor. save your pennies, spend them on something more worthwhile

watchlist:

• jeopardy
• rebel billionaire
• amazing race 6 (i think i've discovered a way to watch this tonight without involving a new vcr)
• house
• veronica mars