charades
i have trouble sticking thinks out, seeing them through (except for marriage and lego projects apparently). i had a comic strip, twice, and it fizzled, twice. i had an ongoing thing of being a writer (writing every day, cranking out many things still unpublished), but that fizzled into an occasional thing (occasional including the second gardia book getting into my head again lately, probably to see some light in a few weeks when hayley and kieran are in school). i started this blog and had a hell of a good time for a while, knocking out some great stuff, throwing in some of my best material and really making a go of it... but no one read it (save my wife and a couple others (literally)) and it's fizzled. i keep trying to restart it, jump it into overdrive, get all the things in my head out, even if no one really bothers to read it regularly

but, then i sit down and just don't feel up to it, and you know why? cause i keep trying to make every entry into more of an essay, an addition to my old rodent bits column (another thing that fizzled) rather than a blog. thing is, i don't care for the kind of blog that has drunk folks commentating on their nights out while on the verge of passing out, or sketchpads (for literal sketches or for passing ideas (a la warren ellis, though his bad signal has just enough interesting stuff that i still subscribe)). i want mine to be more, but i can't keep up with what i want it to be

and, so here i am, coming into this entry with the idea of celebrity charades on my mind, wanting to go on and on about how reality television has truly, like so many projects of mine, fizzled and died--not that we won't happily watch it twitch for a while--and i wanted to segue into some other recent television, like my defense (albeit not a strong one) of the inside or my offense at the plot of last week's premiere of the closer despite some damn good writing and characterization... but what's the point in that when i started this thing because of politics?

--insert a big smirk here--

of course, isn't my whole thing, my gimmick if you will, to make strange segues between pop culture and politics and religion and my own disgust at most of it? or something like that. i should be saying today that, despite what the Right would have us think, we are not all at war, we are not all in danger. and, i should be cleverly linking that into discussion of the inside's idea of putting the bait at the forefront of the show, nevermind the cries of mysogny, or talk of how the closer's love for junkfood (but not donuts) isn't as cliched as some reviews would have you think, and making sure to mention cheney suggesting last week (or at least it made it onto the daily show last week) there wasn't point in arguing against people who disagreed with him, and maybe i'd throw in some prognostication about iraq and how the suicide bomber killing folks at a police station there is certainly not much of a good sign of our supposed success

but, i'm not in the mood for cleverness. hell, you know what i want to do today? i want to get a new pen to carry around in my pocket wherever i go, as the previous one died yesterday, and i want to wander across town with my kids, and research some stuff on samurai and bushido for lion, horse, tree and do some work on my lego astromech droid (you can see the head, for some sense of scale, here) and maybe squeeze in a movie, and tonight there's six feet under, hell's kitchen, bullshit!, the closer (which better prove tonight that writers of good characters can handle good plots as well, and not the predictable case they had last week... hell, between the cliches of this show and the inside, i wonder if the network cop show is finally dead as well) and the daily show. but, i'll be writing soon. thoughts of lion, horse, tree are playing about the corners of my head, twisting and shouting and asking me to let them out, so i'll probably have to be getting to that soon, and maybe i'll get this little blog here going again as well

or not

profound realization # 17
this has probably been covered before, but i never even took the time to think about it: the star wars movies are not science fiction

don't get me wrong; there are some definite sci-fi trappings in there, spaceships, blasters, aliens, laser swords, but thematically, it's all fantasy, not sci-fi. it's all about (and this is going by purpose, not necessarily execution, as some of the writing and directing falls a bit short in the recent episodes) the battle between good and evil and wizards (jedi, duh) and warriors and fantastic creatures (which might as well be dwarfs (ewoks), elfs (i don't know, those folks on kamino, just for one possibility?) and dragons and what have you. none of them need to be aliens, none of the jedi need to be anything other than elements of a tale of mysticism and politics (the latter especially prevalent in the recent trilogy), and the spaceships might as well be wagons or horses... or chariots, i suppose since they get involved in the fighting so directly. but, then, they fought on trucks and buggies in the road warrior, so it certainly isn't the method of conveyance that makes a thing into science fiction or fantasy or something else altogether (the road warrior being, arguably, the definitive action film). there's nothing of the jedi, midichlorians aside, that speaks at all of science. as han solo might point out, it's all a bunch of superstitious mumbo jumbo. the whole story's about as much a ripoff of fantasy epics like the lord of the rings as willow (another george lucas production, mind you) is. sure enough, the heart of each specific story lies in something other than the ripoff plot (and lucas acknowledged when he originally conceived of star wars that it was nothing but a ripoff (or at least homage) to old serials and stuff from joseph campbell's examination of myths and the hero's journey (certainly the fuel for many an epic fantasy)) somewhere in the actors and the specific story elements that take the plot beyond its generic roots. hell, thats why the orginal trilogy gets such recognition over the recent one: the actors and the specifics were better, less clinical, less sterile. in return of the jedi, we got to know something of the battle through admiral ackbar and lando calrissian and nien nunb and wedge antilles, and we were invested in these minor characters enough to care about not just the big jedi duel (vader vs luke) or the fight at the bunker on the forest moon (simple folk ewoks vs technologically superior imperials) but also in the space battle. in revenge of the sith, we get a spectacular battle, but it's just that: a spectacle, background imagery for a plot that doesn't demand we bother getting involved in a galactic conflict that clearly is shaping a hell of a lot of what we're seeing (looking at it from a realistic view of how the world (or universe) works, that is). in a new hope, a passing comment about the senate being dissolved actually means something, carries some weight, but in attack of the clones, that senate loses its power (long before the dissolution, by internal chronology) and we barely care, bring on the monsters and the droid battle and mace windu saying the "party's over" (just one phrase that didn't belong in the world of star wars, be it science fiction or fantasy (another being "girlfriend")), bring on the armies of the dead and the nazgul... oh wait, wrong fantasy film

the point of all this being, star wars, often held up as definitive science fiction, the epitome of special effects laden space opera fare, just isn't science fiction any more than highlander was a straight drama. thing is, i'd never really bothered to think about it until yesterday (while watching the two ewok films (which take the star wars universe and drop pretty much all the science fiction stuff altogether for giants, witches, magic objects and wilford brimley)) and it makes a strange sort of sense now how so many people can be big fans of star wars or star trek but not both (though there are certainly fans of both as well (me being one of those, sometimes); one of those series is science fiction, one of those is fantasy. they aren't necessarily supposed to share an audience

in other news, alone in the dark isn't a horror film either, despite it's packaging. it's an action film, an alien film, with a few spy film elements (and maybe even a few buddy cop picture details as well) thrown in for good measure... then some monsters interrupt every once in a while. yesterday was all about genre mix ups

then there was the shield and the daily show and a lego scuplture (which will be online soon here) just to round out the day

a movie a day keeps the life away

1. 0111 hero
2. 0113 osama
3. 0115 troy
4. 0117 under the tuscan sun
5. 0120 21 grams
6. 0121 first blood
7. 0122 sideways
8. 0124 rambo
9. 0124 code 46
10. 0124 noises off
11. 0125 spider-man
12. 0125 the forgotten
13. 0126 sky captain and the world of tomorrow
14. 0127 blood simple
15. 0127 the story of the weeping camel
16. 0128 aliens vs. predator
17. 0129 the lord of the rings the fellowship of the ring
18. 0129 the lord of the rings the two towers
19. 0129 the lord of the rings the return of the king
20. 0130 the lord of the rings the return of the king
21. 0202 ray
22. 0203 danny deckchair
23. 0203 the time of the wolf
24. 0204 they live
25. 0204 swimming with sharks
26. 0207 rambo iii
27. 0207 radio flyer
28. 0208 harold & kumar go to white castle
29. 0209 cold mountain
30. 0214 the talented mr. ripley
31. 0214 rabbit proof fence
32. 0216 saw
33. 0217 jeepers creepers
34. 0219 million dollar baby
35. 0221 donnie darko director's cut
36. 0222 battlestar galactica miniseries
37. 0223 i [heart] huckabees
38. 0223 jeepers creepers 2
39. 0224 house
40. 0226 cube zero
41. 0228 my architect
42. 0301 el mariachi
43. 0301 el mariachi (with commentary)
44. 0302 desperado
45. 0302 desperado (with commentary
46. 0303 once upon a time in mexico
47. 0303 once upon a time in mexico (with commentary)
48. 0304 zero effect (with commentary)
49. 0304 four rooms
50. 0305 from dusk til dawn
51. 0305 from duck til dawn (with commentary)
52. 0306 spy kids
53. 0307 a fistful of dollars
54. 0308 series 7
55. 0308 series 7 (with commentary)
56. 0309 or 0310 evil dead
57. 0313 bambi
58. 0315 the incredibles
59. 0316 bubba ho-tep
60. 0318 what the bleep do we know?
61. 0319 what the bleep do we know?
62. 0320 dragons
63. 0321 same sex parents
64. 0323 the final cut
65. 0323 envy
66. 0328 dirty work
67. 0329 finding neverland
68. 0330 star wars a new hope
69. 0331 star wars the empire strikes back
70. 0401 sin city
71. 0402 closer
72. 0404 the indian in the cupboard
73. 0404 the indian in the cupboard (with commentary)
74. 0404 vera drake
75. 0405 sideways
76. 0406 sideways (with commentary)
77. 0407 star wars the return of the jedi
78. 0409 the amityville horror
79. 0410 nurse betty
80. 0411 star wars the phantom menace
81. 0412 xxx
82. 0413 brazil
83. 0414 brazil (with commentary)
84. 0414 airplane
85. 0415 the battle of brazil
86. 0415 brazil: the love conquers all version
87. 0415 brazil: the love conquers all version (with commentary)
88. 0418 the crucible
89. 0419 spy kids 2: the island of lost dreams
90. 0420 spy kids 2: the island of lost dreams (with commentary)
91. 0421 the corporation
92. 0423 primer
93. 0423 sleepaway camp 2
94. 0425 primer (with first commentary)
95. 0425 primer (with second commentary)
96. 0425 the woodsman
97. 0426 star wars the phantom menace
98. 0427 time bandits
99. 0427 lemony snicket's a series of unfortunate events
100. 0428 star wars attack of the clones
101. 0429 not another teen movie
102. 0429 the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy
103. 0502 event horizon
104. 0503 joe versus the volcano
105. 0503 the phantom of the opera
106. 0504 blade
107. 0505 this is spinal tap
108. 0507 the incredibles
109. 0507 waiting for guffman
110. 0508 the villain
111. 0510 the life aquatic with steve zissou
112. 0511 the life aquatic with steve zissou (with commentary)
113. 0511 in good company
114. 0511 national treasure (to be watched this evening)

the facts of life
Mood:  happy

note: written late last night, so i hope it comes off as hopeful as i was while writing it, despite itself

i've gotten the distinct impression that this year is a notable one in my life, with a specific role in the creation of the future of my being (if you will). that is to say: this year seems to be serving a specific purpose in my life as it is. that purpose being: top get me to shit or get off the pot, so to speak, when it comes to my creative career. that thing is, can i accept that my life might actually be that of a stay-at-home father of three who dabbles in movie wat5ching (the latest being waiting for guffman saturday night and the villain yesterday while folding laundry), tv viewing (watched last night: the contender, deadwood and greay's anatomy; recorded in addition to those for later viewing: the simpsons (x2), family guy and american dad), lego building (my church finally dismantled from its incomplete state on friday evening) and cooking (my banana cake with chocolate ganache on top and base frosting and crushed graham crackers on the sides was received well at my sister's house (where mothers day goings on were going on) last night? or, am i finally going to get back to seriously pursuing a writing career (ie, regularly sending my work out, damn the rejections)?

and, what of my interest in and, often, abhorrence to politics, the state of the world, of humanity, the envrinoment, oil dependency continuing, suvs still going strong, foreigners dying for all of us to be able to run all our errands efficiently...? there's nothing for me to send out to get into the field of making the world a better place, no revolutionary agents, no save-the-world editors. it's all just me, and i don't have the time (or often the inclination) to put a notable effort into any of it. i can simply make my corner of the world as nice as i can make it, and really what else can i be expected to do? who am i, that anyone should expect some huge world-saving act, or a great novel for that matter? i know i've written at least a couple novels that are pretty good (out of 10 total completed, not to mention my comics, my screenplays or my poetry or short stories), that grab some good ideas by their horns and really say something. but, are they publihsable? marketable? insert a big shrug here. what do i know of any of it? it's a big gamble, really, putting work out there for folks to see (my latest go: i sent my screenplay the evolution of grace in as a submission for the nicholl fellowship (look it up if you like) and it's a longshot, in my mind, that i'd even pass the first look... even as i--it should be noted--think i could make a good film of it myself, given a meager budget and a cast and crew daring enough to try it with me (not that i even known anyone outside relatives and some online acquaintances)). and, that gamble isn't one i think i could ever have for an addiction

my wife might love my ideas, my stories, but she married me and is one of the few people who can stomach my blunt, abrasive, irrevernt personality for any notable length of time

allow a tonal shift here as i note that those mothers day goings on i mentioned involved being at the house of my oldest sister (i've got 6, all older than me, for those of you who don't already know that) for nearly four hours, surrounded by family, close and extended, food and drink and karaoke (i, along with supporting parts in a few numbers, sang peggy sue and summer nights and actually had a good time with it). and, i had some good dessert (a piece of that banana cake i made and a piece of a peanut butter pie one of my sisters (the 4th of the 6, if you must know) brought) and socialized a bit and everything. and, i survived primarily 'cause i was in my element with people i already know, people who accept me 'cause i'm family, not becuase i'm someone they'd even give the time of day if they met me anew

and our car died saturday (today we'll find out what work it needs done) and i had to push it a good distance and that's life, cars dying, family get togethers, folding laundry, raising kids, watching movies and television, worrying about the world and my place in it, dreaming of bigger and better things to build out of lego blocks, new things to cook and bake, new things to learn, old things to forget or to teach my kids, to pass on, to leave something behind in this world (as my plans for immortality will probably never come to fruition), sex, love, music, message boards, books, magazines, exercise, food, lincoln logs, karaoke, shots of scotch, glasses of wine, diet coke, quinoa brownies, video tapes, dvds, walks to blockbuster, commuting, comic books, family dreams... and, must i go on?

all in all, pink floyd would say, it's all just bricks in the wall. wuestion is, what is the building of which my wall is a part? what's the point? there's no god and no goal, no purpose inherent in any of this. so, do i settle for what i've got because it's actually a damn good life, the kind of thing of which others might dream? or, do i keep dreaming of more, of fame (or some apporximation thereof), of making a name for myself? or, do i somehow do both, take the good, take the bad, and there you have...

don't panic or you might get shot

you remember when a couple people were attacked by sharks a few years back and suddenly the media was acting like every shark in the world was attacking any person that even thought of going near a beach?

well, lately here around los angeles, the media has been acting like every person who drives on the freeway is getting shot. nevermind that like millions of people drive the freeways around here every day and all but a handful make it home fine. nevermind that the numbers for freeway shootings is down and has been steadily declining in recent years. the media don't care for facts. it's either make up a new epidemic--this time, a good freeway shooting spree (8 in two months getting news coverage)--or cover the war we're losing that has become quite boring...

of course, iraq has a new prime minister now, and insurgents attacked coalition forces tuesday in ramadi, setting off a battle that killed 12 militants, an iraqi soldier and two iraqi civilians, coalition soldiers fought suspected insurgents near a syrian border town of qaim in a battle that killed 12 militants, injured a 6-year-old girl and wounded 6 coalition soldiers. and, as of monday, at least 1581 members of the US military have died since the beginning of the war, at least 1206 from hostile action, 1443 since bush declared the war over

and, even as our president can't pronounce the word*, iran declared tuesday it is "determined" to pursue all legal areas of nuclear technology, including uranium enrichment

and, in US news, a 13 year old in florida has gotten judicial approval to get an abortion, and fingers are showing up all over the place in people's food. first, at a wendy's** here in california, now at an ice cream place in north carolina. IT'S AN EPIDEMIC, I TELL YOU!! EVERYONE REMAIN CALM AND LOCK ALL YOUR DOORS!! REMAIN CALM, DAMN IT!!

* nuclear--that is

** not true, it turns out, but that's hardly the point, right?

how dare he not like the war he's been in
sergeant kevin benderman applied for conscientious objector status last december. that was just 10 days before his unit was set to deploy to iraq, and benderman had already served 8 months in iraq and had been in the army for 10 years. but, things he saw in iraq (one example: a young girl burned) mad ehim question what he was doing there

thing is, his CO status has been denied now, and he'll be facing a court martial on charges of desertion

the military defines a conscientious objector as someone who "opposes war in all forms for deeply held moral or religious reasons"

maybe it's just me, but wouldn't seeing how horrible war could actually be and turning against the idea of it seem like soemthing that should count more (rather than less) than some liberal kid afraid to go to war*? this guy actually experienced war and saw firsthand how it didn't fit with what he was doing in the military...

...and now he faces up to 7 years in prison, reduction in rank to private and a dishonorable discharge

of course, maybe that's better, under the circumstances than being forced back into active duty in iraq

* not that that's all that goes for CO status, of course

all hail the new pope, same as the old pope
seriously, how does this make sense? the old pope was 84 when he died a couple weeks ago. the new pope (ratzinger) is already 78. wouldn't it make more sense to pick someone--i don't know--not already a fucking senior citizen on his last legs? hell, while we're at it, do we need people fawning over a guy who considers "dangers to the faith: sects, ideologies like Marxism, liberalism, atheism, agnosticism and relativism - the ideology that there are no absolute truths"? has the idea of anyone being progressive instead of sticking to the same old hardline shit been lost completely?

and, today is the ten year anniversary of the bombing of the alfred p. murrah building in oklahoma city. it's also the day william jensen cottrell of the ELF has been sentenced to more than 8 years in prison and ordered to pay $3.5 million in restitution for defacing and/or burning SUVs (to the tune of $2.3 million, so i guess that extra 1.2 was for the hurt feelings of all the evil SUV dealers and owners). and, zacarias moussaoui is offering for a second time to plead guilty. a federal judge is evaluating whether he should bother to accept the plea

it's a great day for democracy and freedom and all hail pope benedikt XVI (ratzinger's new name--pope antichrist junior just didn't have the right ring to it)

that old flower-in-the-gunbarrel gag

oscar the grouch is going on paxil
that's right. folks are fed up with his mood, and his therapist has finally done it. not too long ago, oscar was involved with terrorism, but now he's jumping (or slumping) on the drugged up bandwagon, medicating himself into mediocrity. it's just the latest bit of health news on sesame street. other recent street updates would include, of course, cookie monster cutting back on the cookie eating, cause of all those carbs of course. he's going to be eating more vegetables, cause cookies, it turns out, are "sometimes" food. prairie dawn, as one might expect, is certainly the ringleader in this tree hugging, carb hating, hippie craze that's coming down on the street

and, it seems like everyone's getting healthier these days. hell, even i got up early this morning to run two miles. and, the pope... did you hear about the pope's diet plan? he's not eating any more solid foods, and he's not drinking, and apparently, he's being put into some box to control his overeating. yes, you heard it here first. the pope wasn't always sitting and mumbling cause he was old. he just was too fat to get up and had a bunch of M&Ms in his mouth. but, the cardinals have put a stop to all that, even going so far as to parade him rather embarrassingly before millions of his followers and the aforementioned putting him into a box to curb his eating...

and breathing, too, but that's hardly on point now is it?

i needs me some evolution, right after the tractor pull

so, here's the thing: some imax theaters in the south (that is, in those scattered few actual cities have found it in them to grow up amidst all that backwoods, hick inbreeding and slavetrading) have taken it upon themselves to show films that included references to actual science

i know, that's crazy. how dare any institution dare to 1) suggest science has any place in the south or 2) reference any word with more than, say, six letters*

and, how could a film about volcanoes (cause that's the case in point that's gotten itself banned of late**) think that southern audiences in for some firey brimstone and death and destruction at the hands of mother nature (or god, rather) would care for anything remotely educational. we wouldn't want to offend anyone's worldview with facts

"many people here believe in creationism, not evolution," says the director of an imax theater in charleston. "we've got to pick a film that's going to sell in our area." and, so, she didn't take the film... which makes me wonder if the passion recut is getting an imax-size viewing this easter weekend

and, that brings up another point (since i will be out of town and can't get a separate blog entry on easter this week): why the fuck are people still bothering with all that easter crap and getting offended by evolution anyway? are they really all that shortsighted and pathetic that they have to believe in some greater power that is going to save them all from their sinning ways, the smoking and the boozing and the casual whoring around? can't we maybe get folks to accept responsibility for their own existence and not wait on christ to show up and save us from the offenses of the world, or for the government to step in and save us from evil husbands intent on seeing us starve to death, evil dictators intent on being unlikable and holding onto nuclear weapons it wouldn't make any sense to use anyway, for papa bush to protect us all from dwindling social security and the horror that is islam?

how about we sit down all the silly people that would be offended by a reference to evolution in a fucking science film and force them to take a biology class, to learn something about genetics and natural selection... and don't let them get all offended with the "i ain't come from no monkey" shit, and teach them what evolution actually is for a change (maybe point out that if basic evolution weren't happening (with the lord almighty behind it or not) all of them redneck bastards would be identical and wouldn't be able to tell one trailer dwelling piece of ass from another... not that they'd care, cause one of em gets pregnant, they could always just say some other redneck did it, cause who could tell differently?

now, if anyone's been offended by anything i've just said, well, go smoke yourself another pack of cigarettes, get yourself drunk and try not to run over that dog in your driveway or those kids of yours playing in the street and convince yourself that this particular liberal elite prick will get what's coming to him... cause, i sure will, won't i, when armageddon passes and judgement day arrives?

* count em, evolution has a shocking nine letters, not to mention more syllables than most southerners could even count, let alone pronounce or understand

** "volcanoes of the deep sea" makes a connection between human dna and microbes inside undersea volcanoes